Man Claims Angels Saved Him From Fire

Virgin Mary Spotted on Barber Shop Wall

Watch video here.

An egg, a savior, and a crazy old woman

I had grand plans for the baby chicken in that egg. After emerging from its holy shell it would become leader of the chicken people and deliver them from the slavery induced by their human overlords. Then!--I'm so pissed--this old woman removed the egg from its mother, and after 23 minutes of exposure to an environment cooler than 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, my messiah chicken died. Dammit.



Oh well. Sorry chickens! I'll think of something else.

Amusing, the games children play

Found this video on the internet. I'm posting it here so you all can see the depth of this mortal's confusion. This "Thinking Atheist" (oxymoron LOL) doesn't understand that all those natural disasters going on are caused by man's mismanagement of the Earth's resources. Painting poorly-rendered pictures of myself in food is just my way of saying "I'm sorry you all are so stupid."



You'd think that a Thinking Atheist would know how to THINK! Hah, I made a funny joke. You might not get it because I'm God and you're not.

Holy cow!

Yeah, I promised Moses that I'd bring him back to Earth someday. But he pissed me off the other day so I decided to make him a cow. He always hated cows. LOL, maybe I'll have him sacrificed...that would be priceless.



Don't make fun of my penmanship! This shit is hard.

Papyrus is so hard to come by these days

One of my top weekly priorities is to sneak into this Russian child's room at night and scribble Quranic verses on his skin. It keeps the Christians from getting too full of themselves and throws a bone to the Muslims. Everyone wins! I'm so smart.



Skeptics are saying this is fake. Hah! Seriously, who else could have done this?

Sneak preview

My fingers are everywhere. Especially in your food.


Courtesy of Everything Is Terrible